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How often do you say no? Come on be honest… yeah, I thought so. We are all the same, right? That’s probably why we are such busy women. But do you know the power of saying no? You may not be thinking of it that way, but it doesn’t only save you a lot of time. Let’s look into this a little bit closer, ok? And don’t say no now… I know you need to hear this!
Why we need to say no
Actually it’s quite simple. Sometimes it’s a matter of not having the time to do all.the.things! And of course, you want to help every single soul on the planet that comes to you. It gives you a good feeling when people are happy and thankful for helping them out.
Plus it could be that it’s something that is quick and simple for you to do, but they need a whole day and watch every YouTube tutorial to get it done. And even then it’s not done very well.
For me personally, it’s sewing. I had a repair and alterations business a few years ago. I loved to help people that otherwise couldn’t wear their clothes anymore. It all started out by doing people a favor here and there. In the end, I turned it into a business with certain times where I would sew (my first step to protecting my time). People were very thankful for what I did for them. And that alone was worth it.
In the end, I wanted to do something different with my time, so I ended the business. But still, I got people coming to me. It wasn’t easy to say no, but I found a great replacement for myself in another sewer. Luckily I could refer my clients to her.
Don’t be scared of saying no
Imagine saying yes to every question, invitation, or request you get. Sure you’ll be loved by everybody. Provided that you deliver on time. Because if people ask you to do something before Friday and it’s Thursday evening and you haven’t even started yet, well, you get it, right? They already asked you on Monday, surely you had plenty of time!
But they don’t know you have your plate full with all kinds of other things you need to do throughout the week. They don’t know you’re headed toward a burnout even. It’s not their fault either. You said yes and agreed to help them out. Now you need to deliver, people are counting on you.
And even if you get everything done in time, you are disappointing at least one individual. YOU! Because I bet, the things you wanted to do for yourself, or with your family, those things didn’t happen. Am I right?
You can see you NEED to say no once in a while. And you need to not be scared to say it. Or else you get overwhelmed by all you need to do.
But it’s uncomfortable to say no
I get it, it is uncomfortable to say no. You don’t want to disappoint people. It’s easier to yes right there and then. You could even be enthusiastic about the invitation or question, not realizing it’s not possible or fun to work on. During the process of getting it done, you could get annoyed, irritated, or stressed out about it. Why the heck did you say yes in the first place?
Another thing is, when people ask us to do something, they expect an answer right at the spot. It’s difficult to say no, because you feel you need to come up with an excuse why not, right at that moment. You’ve been put on the spot and forced to give them an answer. What is easier than to say yes, right?
Do whatever favors you can, and be warm-hearted and direct when you have to say no. – James Clear
The power of saying no
Now let’s look into the power of saying no. Imagine you could say no without feeling guilty about it or scared to disappoint people. What would your calendar look like? What would your LIFE look like?! Really, take a moment and daydream about that scenario. I’ll hold…
You feel calm? Happier? Energized to take on new things you wanted to try for a long time? Well, my friend, you just found the power of saying no once in a while. Pretty amazing right?
You are taking back your precious time to do the things YOU want to do or experience, like spending more time with your family. Maybe you finally have time to tackle that project to get your filing system in order. Or you are once and for all able to make a cleaning schedule for your household to which you can stick to and which is long overdue.
Choose what’s important
When you are able to say no to the things you don’t want to do and people respect you for it, your yes becomes more valuable. And I don’t mean to sound arrogant or something. You just don’t say yes as a standard answer, but because you truly want to help somebody or to show up for them. You’re becoming more honest with yourself and with the people around you. And we all want to be surrounded by genuine people, right?
That means you need to choose what is the most important to you. It could be your mental health, your sanity. No one wants to get burned out by all the commitments they have made.
You can also choose your closest relationships, your own hobbies, and positivity in your life. Or time to relax and do nothing. Whenever you commit to something you’ll never get that time back. Or you never will be able to use that time for something else. Remember that and choose wisely! Choose what’s important in your life and put that first on your list.
How to say no in a friendly way
Let’s get one thing clear. Don’t be ashamed to say no. It is your right to say no to anything you don’t want to do, besides your responsibilities at home or work of course.
Now we don’t want to be rude and just respond to a request with a blunt “nop, not gonna do it!” There is something to say to let people know this is not going to work out for you. Here are some tips on how to say no in a friendly way.
Some final thoughts
Let’s face it, saying yes to everything and everyone is a bad habit you need to break. We need to learn to say no once in a while. It frees up time for things that are important to you. And in the end, saying no can save you loads of time. What better management tool can you think of than saying no from time to time?
Hi, I’m your time managing and organizing best friend. I am a mom of 3 teenagers and married to my best friend.
As a working mom myself, I love to show you how to juggle your time using routines & schedules and give you time managing tips.